Ever have those nights you just seem to toss and turn the whole time? Well, it's 3:00 AM & I can't sleep so I got up to grab my Bible and journal... I felt something stirring in my heart so I turned on my "Jesus Music" (as I like to call it) and began praying. I was then led to this personal excerpt in my journal that will set the precedent of this, longgg over due, blog entry!
---> 11/17/15- " Stir my soul and reveal your plan to me God. My heart is ignited for your Spirit, Lord. Open my heart to be filled with your love. Open my eyes to see your light and open my mind to receive your word. Draw near to me as I draw near to you, O God. I surrender to you Lord, I want to know you more. Like a rushing wind, Jesus breathe within. Like a mighty storm, stir within my soul. Lord, have your way- hear the cry of my heart."
Pretty powerful, ehh? The last couple lines of that prayer are from the song "I Surrender" by Hillsong- which I am currently listening to on repeat. Its that song that just opens the flood gates for the Holy Spirit to rush in. No matter where you're at in life- on the top of a mountain or in the lowest valley- whether you're surrendering your burdens or proclaiming your blessings, this is that song that stirs your soul. As Im listening to it, the verse Psalm 27:8 came to me, "My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me" and my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming""
So in reading that prayer above that I wrote nearly two years ago, I was pretty proud of my "past self" (so to speak) for seeking Him so desperately. But with that I also felt conviction in my "current self" for being astray. My soul was on fire and calling out to God- and it made me ask myself.. right now, what am I calling out to? What are the priorities and desires of my heart currently fixated on? Well, I can admit honestly that my answer to that question isn't one that I am proud of.
Yes, I go to church every week. I listen to my "Jesus music" on my way to work every day. I pray every single day- over anything and everything. As crazy as it may sound, I even just out right talk to God every day. I tithe & watch the podcasts (yada yada yeah I know). But even in all this, sitting here in reflection, I have to really ask myself... am I just going through the motions? Because what is any of that if Im continually feeding the flesh? What power do words in a prayer have when the desires of your heart aren't in allignment?
Proverbs 16:2- "All a persons' ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord."
If you look deep, what are your motives fixated on? For me, its work. Others it could be worldly possessions, status quo, a significant other, social time, etc. Now please don't misunderstand me as I discuss this. By no means am I saying its not okay to prioritize work, family and friends. But, is it okay to prioritize them before God? & the answer to that is simply no. But if we're being honest, how easy is that to do? Very. One could say it almost comes naturally.
It feels "normal" to crave spending all of your free time with your significant other or to trade a fun, social weekend over a Sunday in church. To me, Im a natural worker bee. I thrive when I'm working and being motivated and I strive to be successful. But I almost idolize it. I will spend 12-15 hours a day working and then come home and pray about more work and more success (greed). But then, I find myself depleted. I spend all my free time so focused on work that I have no time or energy for much else. Including quiet time with God or personal reflection. My bank account is full but my soul is empty. So then what is it all for?
God didn't create us to live by a "normal" standard. He didn't call us to do what feels "natural". God called us to be different. To be Holy. To be set apart.
I didn't write this to bring conviction on anyone, thats not my place nor my desire. But this is for anyone who's soul may be feeling empty. Check first the desires of your heart. The only way we can live at the level God has called us to live is by truly encountering Christ & seeking Him daily. Set yourself apart and set Him above. I pray that he stirs within all our souls a new set of priorities and a profound desire to seek Him first in all that we do. According to Matthew 6:33, when we do this, God fulfills the desires of our hearts. And when you're in that close proximity with the Spirit- your desires are aligned with His will.
& THAT is what we should all be living for.
So go be a #bossbabe (or dude), go love on your friends and family and spend time with your significant other- but may this message reignite that desire in your soul to be desperate for Him, setting Him at the top of your priority list.
I thank God for this wake up call (both literally & figuratively) and I pray that it bestowes spiritual inspiration on all who encounter it. AMEN- Jo
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